I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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