i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
