He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
