Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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