At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
