it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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