Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
