Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
