Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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