he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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