exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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