He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize