it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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