Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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