I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
