He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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