fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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