ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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