Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
