I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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