just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
