just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
now i know why i became what i already was.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
