I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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