People with herpes should wear stickers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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