In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
