New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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