and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
