is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize