I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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