so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
