AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
