I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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