Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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