We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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