You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
