I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
