Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
