i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
