who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
