Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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