Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize