morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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