it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
