Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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