i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
