I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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