yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
