this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
