She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i think i just lost a toe
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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