I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
