I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
