I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dick very happy bro
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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