I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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