Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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