it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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