I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
