He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize