do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
