i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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