I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize