I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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