the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
