Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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