my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
