You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Success! We fucked roommates!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
