Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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