problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
