Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize