Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
