woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
