So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
