You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
