i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
