In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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