well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
