Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
True strength comes from lack of pants
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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