if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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